Where There’s a Way, There’s a Will

As a Clinical Neuropsychologist who works primarily with kids, adolescents, and their families, one of the most common comments I hear from parents is that their child is not motivated. 

Some go so far as to describe them as lazy.

Their child is clearly bright, their potential boundless. “If only they would try harder!,” they lament. 

Children are not naturally lazy

From the parents’ perspective, the frustration they are experiencing makes perfect sense:

• They are describing what they see every night in their homes.

• It is what feels real to them.

• It matches what their teachers are reporting, too.

And yet, children are not naturally lazy. So what is going on?

The child likely feels overwhelmed

When a child is repeatedly not meeting their potential something is getting in the way. This may include compromised attention and/or weak organizational skills. Or, there may be undetected learning disabilities. 

Each of these, alone or in combination, impacts a child’s performance and, over time, causes them to lose confidence. 

As things progress, they become frustrated and feel like their efforts are fruitless. They lose their sense of control. 

It’s likely that they are constantly being told by their parents and/or teachers (either explicitly or implicitly), that they “should” be doing much better. This adds to their plight and can cause them to pull back even more. 

The situation can then take on a life of its own, as the child acts out or internalizes the distress. This can devolve quickly or unfold slowly over months and years.

But there is hope. 

Children can learn to manage their emotions, but they need help

The key to restoring the child’s motivation is to figure out what is getting in the way of their success. 

The first critical step is to have them tested. This allows for an objective analysis of their intellect, academic skill levels, and thinking abilities. It also helps determine what motivates them and the details of their emotional landscape.

At the completion of the process, a much clearer picture emerges and, along with it, a specific plan. When put in place, the plan helps the student emerge and excel to the heights of their potential. 

With their confidence restored, their motivation comes back, too. 

Then, even when emotional challenges present themselves, the child believes that they are able to overcome them. There is nothing more powerful than when the moment a child realizes there’s nothing ‘wrong with them,’ that they are just as ‘smart’ as the other kids, that there is a clear path forward, and, above all, that there is hope.

Said another way, what parents need to realize is: Where there’s a way, there’s a will. 

Together, we can find that way… and that will unlock the child’s will. 

I invite you to contact me. Let’s get the process started!